Someone sent me an email today and it was a good day for this email. The weather that had been warm and balmy had turned grey and cloudy, and my mood was reflecting that. In these times we seem to hear a lot of bad things and those make us worry, stress, and fret about what is happening and how can I save myself from all that is going on. When will the grey skies part and the sun shine down again?
It is my belief that if you look around this huge thumb that seems to be pressing down on us is pressing down on all of us! The world is struggling….hurting….wondering….scared….and stressed out. I think it’s a sort of fine tuning of the Universe. What does that mean? It means that when you have worked hard to eliminate the yuckies out of your life and to grow yourself to better than before then you are hoping that the rewards will be showering down upon you. But right now, while some may be feeling the showers, alot of us are just feeling the emptiness of expected precipitation and that is more than frustrating….it’s worrisome. It’s in that worry that the Universe is getting the last little bits of you ready….tests come more frequently in this place.
The tests come to put the magnifying lens on that which you are holding onto with both fists and white knuckled. Perhaps it is what you feel about your self. Perhaps it’s what you want people to feel about you. Perhaps it’s learning about your happiness. Perhaps it’s taking risks. Perhaps it’s learning to really let go. You know what it is….right? So understand that as you undergo the heat from the magnifying lens from above it’s not done out of anger, spite, or even maniacal senses of humor…..we humans learn the hard way and so the hard way we have to endure.
Anyway, when I received these words of wisdom from a woman who had most likely learned them the hard way, I decided to pass them on. Most of them made sense to me and I found myself saying….if only I had done that. I also found myself saying, “I’m gonna teach my kids that!” I don’t believe in coincidences, I believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason. So today I heard some words of wisdom….and right now I pass them on. Some of them you need..some you don’t but whatever the case, read each one and think about it. What does it say to you? Then say thank you to the Universe for giving you some good information from a very reliable and aged source….Regina Brett, 90 years old!
I’ve added my input too…..kinda like a 40 something perspective and hopefully insight you can use!
Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It
is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled over
to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:”
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
Whoever said life was supposed to be fair? And if you keep waiting for fairness you’ll miss all the goodness!
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Because the option is to stand still and where is that gonna get you?
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Plus it ends up simply hurting you. Hate creates anger, pain, frustration, resentment…none of these are good things to have residing in your body. Forgiveness is for you, not for the other person. Letting go of hurt is the biggest thing you can do for yourself!
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
Don’t isolate yourself. Ask for help! I know that can be a tough one cause we all have tremendous piles of pride lying around inside of us. But what you don’t know is how others love to help you and how you make them feel when they can help you. Besides asking for help means you are stronger because you know you are not an island able to do everything yourself….which is incredibly smart! And remember to reciprocate for others…you’ll be astounded at the joy that occurs from helping others!
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
Oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord how I wish I had lived this way! Credit cards are useful tools but they can be easily misused and can take control of your life. So start today….if you can’t pay them off then take them out of your wallet and tell yourself that you will only buy what you can pay cash for. Pay as much as possible on the cards you have starting with the smallest debt and moving on. Starting with the smallest debt gives you a sense of accomplishment which then motivates you to keep going. Also, it gives you some leeway if an emergency arises! The adage to live by is, “If I can’t pay cash for it and afford it…..then I don’t need it!” You will see quickly how much stuff you buy that you don’t really need! Take back your life from credit cards!!!!
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
This is a big one! Let me say this…..You are not going to agree with every person you meet!!! Period. End of story! If you do agree with every person that you meet then you are not being true to yourself and are instead appeasing others to make sure they like you! That doesn’t mean you have to go to blows or raised voices with people you disagree with but you can politely say, “I believe that we agree to disagree!” And then change the subject. Remember that some people like to disagree with EVERYONE! Don’t waste your energy or your brain power trying to persuade them otherwise, simply smile and either move away or utter the above statement. Then find someone else to talk to! Quickly!
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
One of the things I thank God for everyday is the wonderful, amazing, and caring individuals that have been brought into my life. These people are support, love, caring, and a shoulder to hold on to when the day, moment, month, etc. is harsh. It is easier to help yourself when you find that you are in turn helping someone else. And God in infinite wisdom allows people to be there for you when you need them most. Even more, you find that as you talk about your issues that you can even find ways to solve those issues just by having a caring ear to let you talk it through. And in turn your progression of understanding and solving your issues can help that person who was listening to you. So everyone wins.
And sometimes when you need to cry you just want someone to hold your hand, hear your voice, validate your feelings, and share in the pain. Doing this and expending these emotions free up the space in you because you let them out of your body and release them to the Universe and if wise enough give God a chance to clear them up.
Friends are beautiful, wonderful, amazing gifts….never lose sight of this and always appreciate them.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God.. He can take it.
I will change this to he/she can take it….but I believe that getting angry is part of a process of faith. What is faith? It is believing in something no matter what. Trusting and letting go that what you need or want will be delivered to you in the best way. God allows to be our punching bag in a way because of the love that he/she has for us. We trust in God to listen….to be a friend…to have a relationship with us….that means that sometimes we might get angry. It’s okay….you have friendships that you have gotten mad and you guys have worked it out….well in this case God never gets angry, he/she simply wraps arms around you and hugs you as tight as possible and listens while you vent all the hurt, pain, frustration, worry, stress, fear….that you may have inside! Best part is……Always there!
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
I wish I had done this. If I had then I would already have the fiscal support I need to get through these hard times. I wasn’t taught saving….I was taught spending. And I learned well, I can tell you that! It is only now, in my 40’s that I see the importance of thinking ahead and being smart. It doesn’t mean I think you should hoard every penny you make or never buy things or experience travel, etc. It simply means that putting $5, $10, or $20 away every week would have been an easy and a smart thing to do. We like to live in the moment and I heartily agree with that feeling of being present, however, I wish someone had taught me early on that emergencies occur so that I could be prepared. I will from here on out not live in a place of frivolous spending ever again but I, as a human, had to learn the hard way. So teach those around you and listen to this one yourself….there is no time like the present to start saving!
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
And unneccessary….that’s I have to say to that!
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
Absolutely. It is imperative. I have been in pain with the loss of my mother, my lifestyle, my marriage, my heart, etc…should I never have shown my children how to deal with loss by hiding myself in my room every time I cried? Of course I don’t mean you should be a blubbering idiot every second of the day. But children learn by example, what better example to give them but how to deal with hard moments in life. How to learn how to understand their emotions and to embrace them instead of push them away and hide them. It is never a good idea for anyone to hide their emotions but too many people don’t deal with emotions and certainly don’t teach their children, therefore, we have a lot of emotionally stunted individuals running around this world.
When I have emotions, loss, hurt, or pain I share this with my children, in appropriate measures of course, and explain that even though I am a Mom I still have hurts, fears, and pains that I have to deal with. Then I tell them how I deal with them and show them by actually doing what I say. It is amazing how smart and feeling children are. They will learn a way to handle it when their feelings are hurt, they are angry, or any other emotions they are having. They also learn that having those emotions is right and true and that it is what makes us special as human beings.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
You know that addage…”The grass is always greener….” Well I know that many people have thought that the manicured lawn on the other side of the street was worth trying out only to find that their own garden held the best for them. You never know what others are going through….and if you are here as you…then you may as well be you, right?
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen!!!! A relationship should be easy. If it’s the right relationship it is. That doesn’t mean that it’s perfect….it means that it flows along because all the requirements are there. But if anyone asks you to keep what you feel a secret then they do not love you! Let me repeat that : IF ANYONE ASKS YOU TO KEEP WHAT YOU FEEL A SECRET THEN THEY DO NOT LOVE YOU! It’s as simple as that. And you know it. So do what’s right….wait for the right relationship that flows….you will be so glad that you did!
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
We have no idea what’s coming our way and when. We are time obsessed creatures and we really want to control the time aspects of our lives so we wish that we could have what we want when we want it. But guess what….when we want it may not be the best time for us….or the situation. This is when we go back to faith, trust, and letting go….if we ask God for what we want and we believe and trust, and then we release the outcome to God and the infinite wisdom residing there……we have done all we can. Then we live our life each moment of each day counting our blessings and knowing that what we need will be there at the right and perfect time. Takes all the frustration out of things! Think like a kid….we never worried about when things came when we were kids. We dreamed of being actresses, astronauts, race car drivers and never asked WHEN?? We just had faith and let go that it would all work itself out….how about thinking like a kid again?
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
This is meditation. Meditation is simply deep breaths. As a shallow breathing society that is stressed and worried we never truly fill our lungs up with air and therefore are depriving ourselves on the most basic thing that we need….air. So right now…right this second…stop reading and take three VERY deep breaths. Fill up your lungs…hold in the breath and feel your lungs expanding. Then when you let them out send all the negative energy in your body out with it. Then take another. Do this three times. When you are done simply sit and feel how different your body and your soul feels! Now do this everyday!!!
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
I have a friend that says, “If it doesn’t champion you then it doesn’t deserve to be in your life.” Those are powerful words. Champion…what is that? A Champion has many definitions but all them mean to be the best, strongest, most powerful in your life. So if someone or a situation does not bring you the above emotions, ask yourself WHY are you still doing it or WHY are they still in your lives? Remember people can only treat us as bad as we let them!
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
I am living proof of this. And I am not alone. So many people on this earth have endured the most horrific of situations only to keep breathing, even if they didn’t want to. What happened to them? Well without the death of a daughter by a drunk driver then there wouldn’t be MADD which has changed the laws against drunk drivers and saved so many lives. We have infinite amounts of strength and we have no idea what we can accomplish until sometimes pushed to do so. Is it fair? We determined already that life isn’t fair. But what you signed up for before you got here might have been to suffer to bring a big purpose to light. To that I tip my hat and say thank you. I also know that no matter what you have to endure, you will grow stronger, you will know that you can beat anything….humans are resilient and powerful. Remember that always!
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
Eat ice cream for dinner. Go to an amusement park and ride the roller coaster. Laugh til you cry. Wear your pj’s all day. Run in the grass. Do what makes you laugh. Be childlike in your view of the world. Children think anything is possible, superheroes exist, cartoon characters are real, and they can be anything they want. Not a bad view of the world, eh?
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
Or shouldn’t…..couldn’t……..wouldn’t……..if it is what you love do anything in your power to make it exist. You will be rewarded, I promise, probably in ways you never could have imagined. It is in chasing down your dreams and doing what you love that you find your purpose and probably everything else you’ve been searching for your whole life. Take a chance…be brave and courageous….be a superhero!
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
Today is what you have. Like they say….today is the present! So go ahead and unwrap it. Get out the good stuff…aren’t you worth it?
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow
Do what you can and then let the river carry you. Do the work…do the due diligence….then let go. Visualize what it is in a balloon and see your hand letting go…this goes back to faith, trust, and letting go. You can do it and you’ll be amazed by the results!
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
Remember this…people are not looking at you because they are too busy worrying about everyone looking at them. Be original. Be daring. Be crazy. It is far more fun that being the same as everyone else. We admire things of beauty that are one of a kind like the Mona Lisa, the David, or the cello playing of Yo Yo Ma……be that yourself. You are a masterpiece…so act like one!
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
And never should be! You are the ruler of your happiness. Never ask or expect someone else to be in charge of your happiness or you will be let down! It is your gift to yourself to honor yourself with happiness. Do this and you will find that others that come in your life only heighten what you give yourself!
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ”In five years, will this matter?”
Actually you can even say….in 5 months….in 5 days….in 5 minutes! Disasters, big and small, will come and go in your life. Don’t equate your life by the disasters that occur. You are bigger than that. Again remember, that which does not kill us…..look back at something you thought was a disaster 5 months ago…how do you feel about it now? Does that put it in perspective?
26. Always choose life.
Cause what’s the alternative?
27. Forgive everyone everything.
Forgiveness is for you….not for them and it’s the greatest gift you can give yourself!
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
This has been a personal stumbling block. And you know what I discovered….what I think of myself people actually think about me. So if I am feeling all ugly and yucky then people respond to me like that. But when I feel confident and amazing…that is how people talk to me and the comments say just that. So remember that your beauty, strength, power, etc all lives within and people will see that before anything else. And truly if you trust, love, and believe in yourself it won’t matter what others think or say.
29. Time heals almost everything.. Give time, time.
This is true! That’s it….it’s true. Be patient….I know it’s hard…but find a way to be patient. Life flows in the time of the Universe and God, not our time frame. Let go of the need to control when things happen in your life and trust that God will give you things at the exact and proper moment that you need them. That is the biggest gift to understand…God knows more than us…and gives us so much more than we could ever consider for ourselves….so be patient with letting go. Don’t just wait feeling frustrated that it hasn’t come. Be patient…let go….have faith….and let life flow!
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Always….it can change in a heartbeat. Again, apply the 5 minute, month, or year adage here and see what occurs.
31. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
And it’s really boring! Be more than that. Be free. Have fun and by all means….laugh at yourself!
32. Believe in miracles.
Cause they happen in every second! You are breathing….that’s a miracle. Did you have food today to eat?…..that’s a miracle. Are you seeing…..that’s a miracle. Do you see where I’m going with that? Blessings…miracles….be thankful and believe in these always it brings them to your door!
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
Thankfully this is true. Cause if we were expecting God to love us by who or what we did….we’d be doomed! Instead remember that God LOVES us….that’s it! Simple as pie! Love means acceptance always. God’s love is unconditional.
34. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
You may only have right now. Don’t waste it!
35. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
And grow old with grace. Don’t make yourself look like a 25-year-old when your 60, why? Because you are defeating the whole purpose. With age comes the amazing things of wisdom, not caring what people think, truth, patience, release….so understand that aging is important…who is gonna teach the younger? So stop thinking that you can stop the clock…..you can’t…period…end of discussion. You will get old! It is inevitable. So go along with the ride and make the most of the things you learned and share them along the way!! Woo hoo!
36. Your children get only one childhood.
With you….so be smart about caring, loving, sharing, and being there. You may have laundry to do on a Sunday night and do you think your kids will remember how fresh and perfect their clothes were folded? No, they won’t. But they will remember that you cuddled on the couch with them in your jammies watching their favorite movie with them. Will they remember that your house was so clean that you could eat off the floor? No, but they will remember when you took a picnic in the backyard and ate barefoot on the lawn. Remember that the things you deem important do not hold the same weight with your kids. Does that mean be irresponsible, no…but please remember always that your kids are only young for a small amount of time and that by sharing yourself with them during the growing up process that you are showing them how to be parents themselves. What do you want your grandchildren to remember about their parents…..that the floors were clean and the laundry was always done? Or that their parents, your children, were the best parents because they gave the best of themselves….their time and love!
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
When my Mom was at the end of her life after battling cancer she said to a group of us sitting around her, “I understand what God is now….it is love. And I have been surrounded by it my whole life.” But she hadn’t realized this till the end so please learn from this and make sure that you see the love that surrounds you. And if love doesn’t surround you, then find it!
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
Most miracles don’t come and knock on your door….although they could. But so many more will happen to you in the smallest of moments when you get outside of yourself and experience the world around you. You will be greatly rewarded….so what are you waiting for? Do something you’ve never done before. Go somewhere you’ve always wanted. Try something new. See what miracle awaits you!
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
Grass is greener concept right here!
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
And envy is just a wasted, unhappy emotion. If you envy someone then figure out what emotion it is tapped into. Is it greed….do you wish you had more. Question is…why don’t you? Or do you really need it? Emotions are indicators and those emotions cause things like envy, jealousy, spite, etc. So figure out what it is you feel and take a good look at where that affects your life. And go back to blessings….breathing, seeing, hearing, walking, the basics….
41. The best is yet to come.
ABSOLUTELY!!!!!
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
You never know what could happen!!!! Anything is possbile….those pesky miracles are everywhere and we don’t really know God’s timing….so….
43. Yield.
It’s better for everyone to take a moment before making a move.
44. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
That’s why they call it the present!
