It’s beginning to feel like Spring! February 26, 2008

The rain has been drizzling all weekend and today when it cleared up I started out to see the outcome of all that precipitation. The hills where I live are green as can be with little yellow mustard seeds starting to pop up. The sky is brilliant blue with big puffy clouds moving quickly across the expanse. In all, a beautiful pre-Spring day.

It seems that Winter was extraordinarily cold this year. Not just in regards to the heating bill. Last year was a tough slogging through of stuff we needed to deal with. Relationships fell to the wayside. Jobs changed. Things just seemed to be hard to handle on many levels. We had to deal with the hardest issues that we could deal with. We had to look in our mirrors and see that we weren’t the fairest in the land. It was a tough time, with illness, lack, and hardships leading the way.

But today as I walked in the brilliant sunshine floating from the clouds I thought that this year…2008 was going to be different. It feels as if I, and many others, have shed 2007 like a snake sheds it skin. Left dry, brittle and crackling on the floor 2007 was a year for struggle that lead to amazing insights into who we are. Now with the new year upon us it feels as if everything is about to burst forth just like the flowers on the hills.

I’m ready for that!!! I am ready for my bliss to be my livelihood. I’m ready to see those around me who have struggled be rewarded with following their dreams. And I am ready to set out into the world as a new creature without some baggage that needed to be stored at the bus depot and the key lost. I believe that the whole world is ready for what the earth is ready to manifest. It’s time to change that which we have allowed to be stuck on us. It is time to become that which we had believed not possible. It’s time to take chances.  It is time to burst through like a flower that’s been slumbering through Winter. It’s time….

So what are you waiting for? Get ready to shine, support, grow, begin, love, laugh, travel, bask in the sun, bask in adoration, fall in love, begin again, find your bliss, grow your life, be the truth and power of happiness, formulate a path worth taking, and get off that treadmill of sameness that you’ve been walking on all your life. Create your visions for your life and make them real….it’s time now! It’s Spring now!

Lorena

08-08-08 January 17, 2008

That is my birthday this year!  Pretty spectacular, huh?  All those 8’s mean ties to infinity.  Truthfully, I am just glad to be out of ‘07!  For some reason last year seemed to be the year of falling down, scraping knees, and lots of Bactine.  But ‘08 seems to be great!  Why?  It seems that when a year has been a struggle that by the end of it you are just clawing your way to the finish line of New Years.  This New Years was different for me.

I decided to go out this year since my kids were spending the evening with their dad.  It was the first time in a few years that I the chance to go and party on that infamous party night.  I attended a roaring singles jam with some friends and all I could think about was that by 12:00 I wanted to be by myself!  I didn’t want to kiss a slobbery stranger.  I didn’t want to peck a friend’s cheek.  I wanted to stand outside under the brilliant and crisp sky and hug myself into this year of 2008.  And that’s just what I did.

At 12:00 I stood outside still decked out in my party attire and waited.  I knew I was a minute away but I didn’t need the huge ball from Time’s Square to notify me.  At 12:01 I felt it.  All of a sudden my feet felt like they hit the ground with a thud, even though they were squarely on the earth at the time.  At 12:01 I felt the air around me still and a rhythmic beating in my heart seem to steady.  At 12:01 I knew that this year, the year of 2008, was going to be my greatest year yet.  I knew in my heart even before I heard the cacophony of sound erupt from the neighboring houses, that this year had just settled in around me like a warm coat to create a time of stupendous abundance and my dreams that I had worked so hard to build to come to fruition.  At 12:01 on January 1st, 2008 I knew……..

Shaking my head…. December 13, 2007

Today was a day where it felt as if someone slapped me in the stomach so hard that I fell down. Ever have one of those days? It started innocently enough….I called my bank to check on a discrepancy and before you know it I was spending 2 hours in the local branch to rectify what looked like fraud. Wow, someone got into my checking account and took quite a bit of money, and then got out and no one knew what had happened, especially not my bank.

The idea that someone can access something that is supposed to be secure makes you very uneasy. From that feeling comes an avalanche of “what ifs” and “oh my god’s” which basically take you swirling down the pit of fear, insecurity, and worry. Trying to sink my nails into the side of the pit and not go there, I found that I had to put my fate into the hands of a stranger. Then I had to do the hardest thing of all, have faith that she would would what she said. And even more, I had do some hard facing of reality.

You see, recently I’ve been following my bliss and decided that writing and speaking was my calling. And it is too. I haven’t given up on what I know to be true. But what I realized as I was getting myself mightly worked up over the lost money and the idea behind the perpetrator, was that it was just money. In the big scheme of things it seems important this concept of money. I mean we worry about it, we obsesses over it, we never seem to have enough of it, we lose it, we control others with it…..and really it’s simply paper or metal. I know you’re saying….but you can’t survive without it. Really…..no, really? Can you survive? Yes, you can. Can you live the way we think we are supposed to without it? Probably not.

And in all that freaking out and hysteria about the violation and the loss I realized something……were my kids hurt? Was I hurt? Could I see, move, hear, think, get myself some coffee? Did those I love wake up and breathe this morning? Was there food in my refrigerator? Can I hug my kids and feel their love? Did I sleep in a bed with covers in a heated room? This is what I realized…..I was lucky!!

I had everything that really is important. I have love in my life. I have health. I have comfort. I have a lot. So I don’t have what I deem to be enough….right now. It’s here and moving in my vicinity. Time just isn’t right yet. But while I wait for that moment and even when it comes, I need to always remember that what is wealth isn’t in dollars and cents. What is wealth is love, peace, truth, care, smiles, tears, and the ability to write my stories here.

We have wealth in every moment and in every day. But we have to remember what the wealth is and not get sidetracked by what others or society says it is. If we all remembered that hugging our kids or loved ones is wealth, then it wouldn’t be so big a deal when our bank account doesn’t add up.

After some time in the bank and a wonderful woman who worked there helping me, I found out that the issue could be dealt with and that it wasn’t as traumatic as I had thought. So where I started this morning I moved far away from. And so now, I know I am never lacking because every day I can hug my kids and feel their loving arms wrap around me and tell me, “Mommy, I love you”. So see, I’m rich beyond measure!

Lorena

Are you sick of carols yet? December 9, 2007

It’s a brisk and chilly December morning and I was planning to take a walk, until I stepped outside.  While I know most of the world is knee deep in snow, I am a California girl and seeing frost on the grass does give me pause.  That being said I do enjoy this time of year.  The cuddly feeling you get of wanting a fire, some hot cocoa with marshmallows, and holiday songs wafting in the background.

 The problem is that the carols and the holiday spirit didn’t start on December 1st, it started sometime in November so honestly, I’m already a bit holiday’d out by now.  Sad isn’t it.  Do you remember what the holidays were like when you were a kid?  The anticipation and excitement.  The endless talking about what you wanted.  Looking at the catalogs or just thinking about what you would do with the item once it was wrapped up and put in your hand.  Those were glorious times. 

Now it seems like December flies by with the holidays being a mad dash of presents, wrapping, seeing everyone in the world, traveling with a bizillon other people, and finally waking up the day after the holiday going…..what just happened?  Good question, what happened to the holidays? 

What used to be about family, getting together and enjoying the bliss of sharing has become a spending free for all with most people in great angst about what they got someone.  I remember the first time I purchased a present for someone at a discount store.  It was an awesome present and I knew the person would love it, but I was worried that they might think less of the gift because I hadn’t paid full price for it.  Now, why should that factor into the equation?  It’s a wonderful gift that was just what they wanted, who cares how much I paid for it.  In fact, I should be bragging all over that I was able to find this stupendous gift at a discount.  But I felt guilty.  Guilty that I was in some way gipping the person because I hadn’t spent more for the gift.  I lost the persepective!  It wasn’t about how much it cost, it was about the thought that the person was really going to love it. 

I was noticing the other day how different the feeling is at stores during this time of year.  The lanquid walking and looking seems to go the way of the leftover turkey from Thanksgiving.  Instead there is a frantic flurry from people as they swing their heads back and forth trying to see the perfect gift for those on their lists.  Walking through the stores people are pushing a bit more, clearly more irritated, and what little patience they had on a regular day of shopping is GONE!!!  The sounds of the holidays really should be the deep and irritated sighs being made behind you as you pay for your holiday item.

So let’s get back to reality.  What are the holidays all about…..I know you see many of these articles at this time of year, but I am going to very real.  Think back to the idea of what holidays are about.  First and foremost it was about getting together with friends and family.  That means, if you don’t like your family…then go and see your friends.  Seeing people you love is what this holiday is about.  But like good human beings we have made sure to sling a whole lot of guilt around this holiday.  I mean, what if you’d rather spend your holidays in Hawaii having a pina colada and basking up the sun instead of trudging through the snow at Aunt Ethel’s house?  Then pack your bags for Hawaii and let Aunt Ethel know that you will be there to visit for 4th of July. 

See if you force yourself to celebrate something in a way that everyone else deems appropriate, then you aren’t really celebrating, are you?  It is okay to tell your family that you need to get away right now and you will be celebrating the holidays on Columbus Day!  Think about it really, your family doesn’t care when you visit as long as you visit. 

That being said, don’t forget that the true meaning of the holidays is giving.  Giving is not always a tangible item.  Perhaps giving is actually going to spend time with the relatives that love you without the begrudging feeling of “wish I wasn’t here” attached.  Remember, those people aren’t always going to be around.  Trust me, I know. 

Six years ago my Mom passed away.  It was hard watching someone as young as she was losing a battle with cancer.  And while I knew my life would be different, I didn’t know how much so.  The first thing I realized is that Christmas for me would never be the same.  My Mom had loved….let me repeat that….LOVED the holidays.  This was a time when she really just shined like a beacon in the holiday frenzy.  She would create the most festive home and even hot buttered rums were part of the set.  I loved it.  The tree was always gorgeous and many presents were under the tree impeccably wrapped.  Let’s face it I was a kid so the fact that many of the presents were for me was alright in my book. 

But my Mom didn’t stop there.  The cookies she made were amazing, melt in your mouth, delectable little pockets of bliss.  Dinner at her home was never just thrown together, she planned the menu for weeks.  Courses were included and always for dessert her Christmas Bread Pudding with Vanilla Sauce.  It was picture perfect and very real to me. 

When she died, the celebration just went right out of me.  That was tough too because I had two little kids of my own that were in the place I had been as a child.  I couldn’t let them down, but my heart just wasn’t in it.  After my divorce, I truly had to force myself to do anything relating to the holidays.  For me it was just a big ball of loss and lack.  I didn’t want to feel like that.  I wanted to be excited, enthralled, and whimsical about the holiday season.  But I just couldn’t muster it up. 

Last year was my turning point.  You see, I realized I had been living in the past in my relationship to the holidays.  I wanted what was gone.  I wanted my Mom!!  I wanted her to take care of everything and make it the blissful holiday of my youth.  I wanted the yearly shopping trips to occur again.  I wanted my Christmas of youth.  And so I realized as I was putting the ornaments on the tree last year that it wasn’t going to happen.  My Mom wasn’t going to magically appear and I wasn’t going to zap back in time.  This was what I had.  Me, my kids, my family and my friends.  It was time to grow up and stop pouting for what I lost and instead make the holidays mine. 

This year I bought a fake Christmas tree.  Yes, I thought my Mom was going to come and haunt me for blaspheming the art of Christmas, but I was tired of paying a king’s ransom to have the scent of pine in my house.  So I broke down and bought a flocked, fake Christmas tree.  You know what, the Holiday police did not show up at my door to haul me off to Scrooge jail.  In fact, the tree is gorgeous.  And better yet, I don’t have to freeze for the next few weeks to keep it alive. 

It’s about progression.  It’s about owning the holidays just like the rest of your life for yourself.  So, realize that it’s not about the gifts or the goodies.  Yes, they are fun and wonderful, but they should not be the focus.  Take the time to evaluate what it feels like to sit around your holiday table.  Do you feel warm and fuzzy from the food, love, and laughter?  Do you wish you could be anywhere else having toothpicks stuck under your fingernails?  Take stock.  Then remember, these people are not going to be around forever.  If that makes you sad, get your flight reservations.  If it makes you smile, then find a bathing suit and some sunscreen and do the holidays your way.

Whatever way you chose, chose for yourself.  Don’t let the “universal rule book” dictate your giving or getting in these times of celebration.  Instead, treasure what you had and keep it warm in your heart.  Or let go of what pains you and create a holiday that makes you happy instead.  Whatever the case, this is your time and how it flows is up to you. 

So when you think to yourself that you can’t hear another carol or wrap another present.  Stop, make yourself a hot buttered rum, and celebrate yourself and the life that you created!  Trust me there is no better present than giving yourself the present!

Blessings,

Lorena

Happy Day After Thanksgiving November 23, 2007

On the day after thanksgiving what do you do?  Do you run out with the masses of crazy people shopping the hyped up sales but actually spending more time in line than actually purchasing?  Do you simply sit at home waiting for the appropriate time to be able to eat the leftovers?  Or do you finish cleaning up the turkey decorations and start putting up the December holiday ones?

This day after Thanksgiving, I did none of those.  It didn’t help that I was battling a cold and was losing.  But I never do the shopping thing because I know that they same sales they are offering today will be there next week.  However, I do admire others that go out there and do battle to shop.  I know some families have that as a ritual and it truly is a testament to this great nation that the thing we do after giving thanks is go out and buy more stuff.  However, after a day of being with family and giving thanks you might need a little shopping therapy.  

It seems to me that the holidays are all just blending into themselves.  We used to have at least a month before we started seeing the decorations for the next holiday, but not any more.  It almost feels like Thanksgiving is going to get pushed out of being a holiday altogether with the hurry of the advertisers to get Christmas up on the boards.  I am sure most of us would agree that the commercialism of the holidays has become extreme.  I mean I am so sick of carols and holiday ads that I could throw up once December 24th actually rolls around.  It’s sad because I really used to love the Christmas holidays.  The smells, traditions, lights, cold weather, wrapping presents used to fire me up for the holiday and its accoutrement.  Now I find myself feeling a bit bah humbug, why is that?

It appears to me that getting older has something to do with that.  The magic of the holidays seems to dim as we grow older.  We recapture it a bit when we have children, but once they too start to age, the bliss of holidays seems to grow tired and just another thing we have to do.  So how do we recapture the joy that the holidays hold?  

This year we are going away for Christmas.  A change of scenery always seems to help with the tedium of the known.  We’re going to enjoy snow this holiday and I am looking forward to throwing some snowballs.  Living where snow is not the norm, I thought that having something new would be a great way to rekindle some spark of the holidays.  I picture snow blowing outdoors as we stomp in from making a snowman only to find hot cocoa and marshmallows waiting for me.  It sounds very picturesque, doesn’t it?  Will it end up like that?  Who knows, what I do know is that even if I am older and the magic of childhood doesn’t live on, the magic of happiness does.  Therefore, how do you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year?  By being happy.

Tall order you might say.  True, it isn’t always easy to be happy about where you are in your life.  It isn’t even easy to be happy about who is sharing your holidays with you.  But what you can do is find the moments.  When you look at a holiday in a lump sum then of course it seems daunting to make the whole time joyous and festive.  But if you look to just the small moments of feeling that snow crunch in your hand.  Or actually tasting the hot cocoa as it touches your lips, then you can find the joy of the holiday season.  As usual in our lives, we make the holidays like another chore we have to do.  You know a checklist of what we need to do.  Make extra money -check.  Get presents - check.  Wrap presents - check.  Make cookies - check.  Spend time with family - check.  Smile and be joyous - check.  See the Nutcracker for the 15th time - check.  

So this holiday season, starting with today the day after Thanksgiving, I am going to look for the small moments and not begin this holiday season with the big picture spoiling the joy.  It’s the day after Thanksgiving, that means you have a day to do what you want…so what will it be for you?  Because the idea of the holidays is love, joy, and giving.  That doesn’t mean just to others, but to yourself as well.  Make sure you put your own holiday needs on your shopping list and that you actually make that present to yourself.  It’s important for us to feel that joy comes to us in ways we gift ourselves, that way we are not let down if we only get an ugly sweater with Santa on it for a present this year.  We can smile and know that the gift that we gave ourselves made up for that. 

Gift yourself….and start today.  Because we all know that there is no time to give to you than the present!

When Fairy Godmother’s Blog! November 19, 2007

What do you get when a Fairy Godmother blogs?  Recipes for magic dust?  A way to keep your wand shiny?

Well, this Fairy Godmother is going to tell you practical pointers for being a Fairy Godmother in the world today.  It isn’t always easy.  Often times people laugh at the wings you have fluttering behind you.  They most assuredly question whether you are sane or not.  And always they think, well that’s all well and good for her but I live in the real world.

Several years ago I found myself faced with many cataclysmic events occurring in my life.  Loss in the form of death, desertion, callusness, and deception left me in a world that I didn’t create.  The landscape of my world was where everyone else decided who I should be, what I should wear, what I should eat, and how I should act.  I was a full grown marrionette with lots of strings attached to me.  When my mom died of cancer when she was 54, I said, “Enough is enough.”  My mom was young and I knew that if I continued along the way I had been for the past few years, I would end up in the same position she had.   It was time for change.

It’s funny how when you just let that idea form in your brain The Universe hears the bell go off and they throw all the plans they had formulated for you into action.  Before you know it you are facing the biggest fears of your life, becoming a strong and amazingly agile adapter, and jumping off the treadmill of life for lands unseen, unknown, and uncharted.  It’s a dazzeling display of truth and uncertainty rolled into one.  And what a ride it becomes.

I remember the day that I started on my journey.  It was after losing my mother to cancer that I decided that mediocre marriage was not okay for me.  While being alone was the biggest fear I could ever conceive of it turned out that being alone was exactly what I needed.  Being alone taught me that I was bigger, faster, and braver than I ever had imagined.  And while I stumbled into a temper tantrum or two along the way, as I grew courageous I saw endless possibilites.

Possiblities, we so often discount this word as something we will never attain.  “It’s possible”, we say but we don’t really believe it.  Possiblities rest on the shelves of our mind collecting dust.  They are sitting right next to “if onlys” and “what ifs” so they are in good company, however, they end up haunting us instead of behaving themselves and fading into the deepest recesses of our mind.   For me I took this zag in my life’s path as the perfect time to take those “possibilities” off my shelf, dust them clean, and see where they could take me.

It’s been a ride through joy, pain, love, honesty, truth, deception, beginnings, dirt, bliss, vodka, and laughter.  But what a ride it has been.  And lucky for me, the ride is just beginning.  It is just picking up steam!  Boy, I get excited when I realize that those “possibilities” really knew what they were talking about.  They really had a handle on what this life is all about.  And even better, if we let them, those possilities will step right up, grab your hand, and take you along with them for the most amazing ride that is your life.

So that is what a Fairy Godmother blogs about tonight….how it started.  It’s a beginning and lucky for us every day is a new one of those.  Every day is filled with possibilites both big and small.  And as a Fairy Godmother it is my responsibility to make sure that not one them is ignored.  That is something a magic wand comes in handy for.

Welcome to my blog November 19, 2007

Welcome to my blog.  Here you can read about issues and recommendations around woman empowerment, traveling with Fairy Godmothers On The Go, health and wellness.