It’s been a long time…. May 15, 2008

…since I’ve written. I’m not sure that I have any amazing excuse except life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. However, I will say that while I am a writer by profession sometimes that is the last thing I want to do. I think also that things in the Universe have been a bit testy lately and I have been feeling the full brunt of that energy, or lack there of.

Isn’t it interesting that sometimes in life we find ourselves in a place of simply getting through. I mean that we wake up each morning and take care of all the things we need to do like showers, clothing, breakfast, getting the kids off, getting to work, smiling, laughing, interacting with people, but it seems as though something is lacking. It’s almost as if we are on autopilot. Does this happen to you?

Well, I’ve been having a lot of this recently and it rather disturbed me as I am usually a high energy go for it kind of gal. I found that getting all the things done that I needed to do in a day was like scaling the peak of Mt. Everest. And while I accomplished all the tasks it was with much humphing and growling inside. This place began to worry me as I seemed to be simply existing in my world. That is a crime I try never to commit and so this sense of disconnect seemed truly vile and yet unsurmountable at the same time.

Therefore I decided that something must be done. Was it time to take the Suburban Cocktail of anti-depressants and mood enhancers? Was it time to move myself into something more structure and safe? Was it time to simply give it up and let things go and stop trying to take care of every single aspect of my life? This is the crossroads I found myself at. And it was in that instant that I decided that I needed to get quiet and hear myself speak. That is where the disconnect had occurred. I had gotten lost in the day-to-day and forgot to make time for myself to speak to…myself.

So the next day I took a walk. I left my iPod at home and just walked. I didn’t need to worry about the route as that was set up as always. I just walked. Felt my feet hitting the pavement. Listened to the birds squawking in the trees. Felt the sun on my face and the wind brushing my cheek. And I felt the ache in my shins and the heaviness of my feet. It seemed my legs had too become mired in the day to day and needed to be reminded about how much they loved to walk. And while walking I got still. I heard myself say….”What are you doing running around so fast and not watching where you are going?”

Not watching where I am going….hmm. That I needed to ponder. Because I wasn’t watching. Just like when you drive past your exit on the freeway cause you just didn’t see it. I had lost myself in the “things” of the world and forgotten about the “being” of the world. And in that moment as I trudged through my walk I realized how simple it was to lose the grasp of who we are and why we are here.

Today I want you to look around and see are you lost in the “things” of your life? Are you consumed with your bills, car breaking, job dissatisfaction, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, family issues, sadness, lack, etc. If so, then now is the time for you to take your “walk” and start hearing yourself. Get yourself back to who you are and the wonder of being in the moment. Of appreciating your life. This is it….right now….your life. So make the most of it!

Lorena Bathey

www.beyourfairygodmother.com